Sunday, July 31, 2011

Mandisa - He Is With You

He is With You

On the six year anniversary of Bobby's death as I was missing him and wondering some of the same questions that I've had from the beginning, God used a song by Mandisa to remind me that he was and still is with me in my pain. It's called He is With You. My questions still aren't answered but I KNOW that God has caused all things to work together for good even though it's still painful and some days I long to push the rewind button and have a do over. He is with me and my family on the days when we miss Bobby like crazy. He is with us when we're living life to the fullest with just a dull ache in our hearts that reminds us Bobby's not here. He's with us as we celebrate birthdays, holidays and ordinary days just because we've been given another chance to live, laugh and love. For that, I am extremely grateful!

Wonder What You'd Be Like Today?

It's been a long time since I've posted here. I wonder why that is? I've written some in my journal but I haven't given my self the gift of time it would take to process my thoughts and post here. Maybe it's time to change that. We'll see.

I just finished reading the book Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. I'll share my thoughts about the book in another post. Though I will say that it has inspired me to continue blogging. Reading her blog excerpts in the book reminded me how much I miss processing my journey this way.

I thought I'd resurrect the blog by including a post from Bobby's Facebook memorial page that I wrote on July 23. That date marks the 6 year anniversary of his passing.

"Hey Buddy, I miss you. Brian’s at the lake today and dad’s officiating at a funeral. It’s at the same place we had your viewing. That will be hard for him.

It will be six years tomorrow since you left us so suddenly. I often wonder what you would look like especially as I see the changes in Brian day by day as he grows into a young man. I wonder what path you would have chosen for your life if you’d stuck around. I don’t dwell on it too much because that leaves me dwelling in the land of “what if” or “if only” which keeps me from living in the now.

Your life had a profound impact on those around your as has your death. I’d like to think that we are choosing life every day and making the most of now even while missing you.

Through it all, God has been and continues to be with us and we have peace knowing that you are with Him. There are days I wonder how you are adding life to heaven’s party. I really want to see you but for now, I’ll hang out here and make the most of life now."